melodiesofcrack | The Santa Claus Meme

The Santa Claus Meme

Your character is Santa Claus!! Maybe they've taken on the job in a mall. Maybe they've found a Santa Claus outfit and forgot to read the hidden clause before putting it on. Whatever the reason, there is no escaping your duty as the official Santa Claus. Besides the kids assaulting you 24/7, you also have to deal with Heroes of Light and rumor has it they're worse than the kids.

1. Post a starter: you are Santa Claus! Try to be kind to the Heroes of Light coming to you with their lists.
2. Comment in other characters's threads: they're Santa Claus and you're the one who gets to pester them!
3. Profit!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Oh he'll make sure you're all happy-- though probably not without a troll or two from him.

Come do sit in his lap. He won't break! :D ]

[And here comes Selphie, keen on being the first to sit on Santa Yuri's knee.

She smiles oh-so-sweetly at Santa.]

So Santa...?

[She beams.]

[ Well that escalated really quickly. Yuri just raised a brow at her underneath his fake ass white beard. ]

What do you want kiddo?

[ And he's seriously going to start this yeah he is. ]

[Of course it escalated quickly. Were you expecting anything less from your plucky housemate, Yuri?]

Well, Santa...

[She pulls out a small, but deadly list.]

I want a rocket launcher, the newest tea set from the most elusive artisan on Crystallis for Cuppa Kupo and --

[She produces a picture of an elephant.]

I would like to know where the elephant that I asked for as a kid is. You owe me an elephant, Santa. So where's my elephant?

[ He's going to give her a look as waits for her answer. The way she speaks to him, he can tell that she's up to no good. ]

No to the rocket launcher. That's too dangerous and you'll have to pay for repairs. A tea set sounds reasonable but you're expecting too much and Elephant?

[ What is an Elephant? ]

You want to tell what an Elephant is?

[Selphie could have pouted at the refusal of the rocket launcher but she was prepared for the refusal!]

The rocket launcher would be put to the best use in the upcoming fights or taking out those Crystal Monsters. Plus, it makes the most awesome explosions when it lands a critical hit. Just think of the practical uses before saying no.

[As for the tea set...]

Okay, maybe not the most expensive one but a nice one in a reasonable price range would work too. There's these really cute chocobo themed ones that could be put to good use at the house, Santa.

[And for the elephant, Selphie points to the picture she's holding out. The big gray flappy eats, the long trunk, the elegant tusks and the big body.]

This is an elephant! I've only seen them in picture books but they look really awesome. I don't need a real elephant in case you're wondering.

[So Yuri, can you tell that Selphie is really enjoying this yet?]

[ Rocket Launcher + Selphie = Damage Costs. Yuri is not giving her something like that much less know what it is to begin with. ]

You can request a job for that-- something that will blow stuff up at your will, Sunshine.

[ That is a big fat no. ]

That sounds more reasonable but hopefully this place has got it.

[ Crystallis isn't the type of place that HAS EVERY SINGLE THING. He knows it's got a lot to begin with though. ]

...Right... Stuffed Elephant it is.

[There are three reactions that Yuri receives. One is the trademarked sunny smile. The second involves a squeal of delight at the elephant plushie. The third involves a withering look before Selphie huffs and looks away.]

Sourpuss.

[Denying a girl her rocket launcher isn't very nice, Santa.]

[ Yuri just raised a brow at her change of expressions but they can't be too bad right? ]

Right, because Santa is looking out for your well being Sunshine.

[ Yuri chuckled. ]

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boomchucka - 2016-12-20 03:30 (UTC) - Expand

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dammit_flynn - 2017-01-04 01:44 (UTC) - Expand

[How strange, Natalia is standing exactly ten feet away from him at all times, holding her list in her hand. Sit on his lap? Absolutely not. Instead she turns to the 'elf' who's trying to beckon her forward. She's not going. She pushes the list into the elf's hand.]

If you would be so kind as to deliver this list.

[Natalia knows she can't request gifts for other people, so she's asked for things that can help her to help other people. Arrows of varying elements, for example. Books on how to construct good strong barriers and anti-monster deterrents. Fruit-flavored healing gummies. She waits patiently and folds her arms.]

[ The elf isn't having her push the list onto him. Instead, it ushers her to move forward and well do as she pleases?

Yuri just grinned underneath the Santa facade, because this whole this is rather entertaining. ]

C'mon I don't bite.

[ He's pretty sure she's got a sincere list too but he's going to have to get it from her specifically. ]

...Very well. But I ask that we keep this arrangement formal and respectful.

[In other words, no laps will be involved in this transaction. She steps past the velvet ropes to stand before Yuri-in-a-beard, holding out her list to him. Take it.]

Formal in terms of what Princess? They say it's a traditional thing. If you want to ask for things, you should probably do it the right way! Santa might not be able to grant you your wishes if you don't follow procedure!

[ Natalia-- he's pulling your leg, but he's not breaking that poker face so it sounds utterly serious. ]

You are not--!

[Natalia cuts herself short. Some of the children behind her are starting to look uneasy, and she immediately regrets her protests. Insufferable man...but she's the one who argued. She's not going to ruin the belief of these kids by accusing Yuri of not being Santa, or fighting with him in public. This is humiliating, but if it's for the sake of others, she'll grit her teeth and swallow her pride.]

[Lifting her chin and taking a quick breath to calm herself, she strides up to Yuri and stiffly, primly, seats herself upon his knee. When she speaks, it's with a tightly clenched jaw as she pushes the list against his chest.]

If you would be so kind.

[ Yuri just chuckled inside as she protest. Natalia was really easy to pick on sometimes. He is insufferable and he's totally okay accepting the fact that he's a legit asshole with everything attached. Yuri tried to keep a straight face as much as he could when she finally caved ind. Of course, the fake beard and all that covered his grinning face. ]

Oh--- bold!

[ Because she actually did it. ]

Relax, I was joking but it seemed like you took it too seriously. Anyway.... I'll give you an extra gift as an-- apology maybe.

[ Yes jackass. ]

Treating me with respect is all I ask from you. Why that's so difficult for you to manage I can't begin to fathom.

[She doesn't want an extra gift, and refuses to be bribed as an acceptable apology. Even sitting there perched stiff and straight on his knee, there's still something unmistakably regal in her bearing that can't easily be broken with humiliation.]

What about the list? Can you produce the necessary supplies in time?

Just in case you forgot, I'm not the respectful type of guy to begin with. You're getting basically the same treatment as everyone else, Princess. It is all a harmless joke really.

[ Extra nice gift with a meal made by yours truly. She can't say no to that now can she??? She was really taking him head on and it's quite amusing. ]

It shouldn't be hard to get set up for you honestly. I got this.

[Sit on Yuri's lap? ...Very well. There's no mistletoe involved, and she's sure he won't expect anyone to actually do it. If she can troll him this time around, she'll consider it a win in her favor. And so it is that Rukia just walks right up to him, calm as you please, holding her folded list lightly against her shoulder.]

Santa certainly has long hair. Help me up.

[PROBLEM?]

[ Yet, another one that doesn't seem to be bothered by the whole idea. Fine, if she wants to be lifted up, he casually does so. You are now sitting on his lap, Rukia. How does that feel for starters? ]

I'm afraid Santa can't be completely traditional. You'll have to bear with it.

[Wrong. It feels wrong. Nothing about this situation is in any way correct. How can he be so calm about it?]

...Now what?

[ Well Yuri can't say he feels comfortable either but hey it's messing around so he's not going to make a big deal out of it. They shared a bed together mutually. This is as platonic as it gets anyhow. ]

Well, what do you want for Christmas? I think that's how it's suppose to go now that you're here, Shorty.

Ah yes.

[She coughs politely against her fist as she unfolds her slip of paper to refresh her memory. She doesn't usually want all that much, but as long as the Santa Claus job is in play, there's no harm in requesting a few things.]

A new set of markers, preferably the kind with over twenty different colors. I would also like a sketchpad and a sheet of moustache stencils.

[Gee, what could she possibly want that for.]

Might I request some books as well? I've made a list of the titles and authors.

[It's a boggling assortment. There are cookie recipe books, an illustrated bestiary of the Mysidian continent, "Leather and Silk," "An Intermediate Guide to Summoning," "Scarlet Intoxication,"...the list goes on. Not all of the titles are tame.]

[ Rukia was so funny sometimes. He doesn't get why she sometimes gets embarrassed over these kinds of small things but at the same time Yuri isn't the type to really let himself be bothered by simple platonic gestures. People can think ill of him but well he's Yuri. ]

The other two seem like your typical wants but mustache stencils? When are you giving up on those Shorty?

[ Seriously.... Rukia seriously. ]

Sure.

[ Damn girllll. ]

Who said they were for you?

[She folds her arms with a grin.]

I employ my artistic talents on more than just one person. Are you jealous~?

There are red flags going off in my head, Shorty. You're up to no good as always. Bad Heroes will get coals in their stockings you know?

[ He replied with a smile between the fake ass white beard. ]

Jealous? I'd feel sorry for them to have to deal with your wrath, Shorty.